We are so much better than this...

In wake of the loss of Abraham Biggs. I felt compelled to make a real important post. If you aren't already aware Abraraham was 19 years young. He committed suicide live online as people watched and pushed him to do it. He used a combination of opiates and prescription drugs for patients who are bipoliar. Here is his note he left behind:

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To Whom It May Concern,
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on. I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am an a@#hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am not good enough for her.

I have come to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I dread, besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer.
I do not want my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I'm always broke and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that's about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I screwed up my own life.
The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or those who have crossed my path. This hate rages full force towards me and only me.
I have long forgiven those who've hurt me, but I have not and cannot come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and the things I've done to hurt those in my life.
You have all touched my life in one way or another, especially those whom I call family. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as way for me not suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at rest with the guilt that constantly ate at me for so long. Please forgive me all for taking my own life so early. I tried so hard to fight against this strong battle. I have reached out for help so many times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did, that it is a punishment I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am has only brought myself and others pain.

I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created. Forgive me.

Love always and forever,

As for my signature I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone reads this they will know it's me, "Can't feel pain if your dead? Just Saying"

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I am at a loss for words. I'm not surprised that people watched and cheered him on. That's just how some people are, but that isn't an excuse to be used over and over again. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS. This young man was troubled and that is known. He seemed to be troubled juggling a lot of things internally. Love has to start from within and he didn't have that. Bless his heart. I pray that the Lord will now take care of him. He was going through a lot mentally. I still don't think that is enough to make someone to want to take their own life. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS. The world offers so much more than self hatred. We all have a purpose. Some find their purpose a lot faster than others. The journey is what makes it worth everything second, minute, hour, day, year, decade, and century, God willingly. The ups and downs have purpose. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There are good people out there. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS. I have no shame for those individuals that watched him and didn't do anything at all. Abraham was disgusted with people who make it a daily routine to express their negative thoughts online because only because of the anonymnity that comes with it. Be MAN/WOMAN enough to let people know how you feel with your information attached. There are a lot of cowards out there. That is cowardly.

Yet I remain faithful that we can be better. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

Too much of anything is bad for you (Part I)

Ruby Tuesday
"Colossal Burger"
~2,000 Calories
~150 grams of Fat

Those are rounded numbers. But they're just shy of what I have stated previously...SMH...This is one of the main reasons why Americans are obese and gluttonous. 150 grams of fat is two days worth of what you should be getting and not in one sitting! Be wary of what you it...That's why I just don't eat beef or pork at all, but that's for another discussion. Would you eat this?

Are people born gay?

First, let me say that I've always been a man of the sciences. Science encompasses chemistry, biology, physics, et al. The primary focus for each study is searching for the truth of the unknown; in my opinion. There is a way you approach everything by making an educated guess (hypothesis) and seeing whether or not it is true. That's all there is to it. Just as it never hurts to ask--it will either be a yes or a no--it never hurts to see if you your hypothesis is true or not. Either way you will get something out of it.

I can attest to a good portion of my life--about 18 to 19 years--that I believed wholeheartedly that there was no way that a person could be born gay. My one and only argument before was as follows:

(1) There is no way that two individuals of the same sex can procreate! What else did I need to dispute my claim?! I saw it as being unnatural...

What started to change my opinion was my fascination with the human genome and how there is so much that we don't even know of the make up of our own systems. The human body is complex! So complex that Someone of a higher power [God] has to be responsible for its design (*my spiritual plug of the day*). We really only know about 1% of the entire human genome and year after year there are new discoveries of what the human genome is responsible for.

There have been many studies, especially on specific groups of monkeys (e.g. macaques and sooty mangabeys just to name a few). Granted these specific species are perfect for research purposes due to their easy handling and rapid reproductive cycle. We also share about 93% of the same genetic structure (which is more than or equal to 200 genes that separates us from monkeys).

As come to further my knowledge in the field in which I intend to be a future expert the way in which I look at this subject is totally different then the way I did 5 or 6 years ago. There are reasons why I have come to believe that maybe, just maybe individuals are born gay. Yes. It is true, but that is my opinion and others may support it or denounce its claim. I have a few arguments that can help support my claim:

(1) Our genes aren't always perfect. Sometimes there are abnormalities in our genes or chromosomes. A few of genetic disorders are Cystic fibrosis (hereditary disease affecting mucus glands of the lungs, liver, pancreas, and intestines) and Sickle cell anemia just to name a few. It is all due to a gene that wasn't expressed in their parents or was latent (actually there but silent). There is a possibly that some people might have a different gene when active produces gay individuals. It's not impossible.

(2) Natural selection is the driving force of evolution. There might be a reason for people being born gay. Now imagine if everyone that was old enough, ready and willing to procreate did just that; procreate. Think about that for a minute (take a second). Japan would be in the ocean due to overpopulation, and China would take over Europe...lol (just jokes)...but seriously "overpopulation" would be an understatement.

Now don't get me wrong there are some people that just want to join the bandwagon, experiment, or whatever you may call it. Some people see it as a fad, something different, and want to try it out. There are some people that aren't necessarily born gay but pose as being gay. You cannot count out this theory though. I'm pretty sure there are people out there studying it. Scientists and researchers are breaking down the human genome gene by gene trying to figure out what it is that goes on within our vessels. Others might feel another way though. If you feel a certain way let us know. I'm open minded and listen twice as much as I speak. That's why God gave us two ears right? Right...What's your opinion?

The Test of a Man...

There is something within us all that drives us to do something! You have your revolutionaries, politicians, adventurers, religious zealots, and many, many more. I'm a firm believer of pushing yourself in anything to the limits. You would be surprised what you can learn about yourself when you push yourself to limits you have never thought you would reach. Personally, I like to push my self physically from time to time. I do that every year going back to wrestling. I coach a high school team and I definitely feel my age, but whereas they have the endless energy I have the ever present skill set gained throughout the years. I never feel as if I'm getting older, more younger ;-) because my body just needs to be worked harder than in my younger years, but my mind is getting younger and stronger. The reason for this post is to just make known two main goals I have set for myself in recent weeks. One a short term goal (within 2 years) and the other a longer term goal (within 4 years). I enjoy running for a good cardiovascular workout. There is a amazing calm from a good run (sigh). So my short term goal is to participate in an upcoming New York City Marathon! Yes! 26 Miles straight! I'm going to sign up with the Runners Club and get right into it. My goal is to finish high; at least within 100. My long term goal is to qualify for the 2012 Olympics as a part of the USA Men's Freestyle Wrestling Team. Those are a just a few ways I have chosen to push myself physically and mentally.

Another goal is doing something that this isn't necessarily enjoyable; more frightening. I do not fear any man or thing, but fear is natural. We all fear something. I'm not afraid of skydiving, but that is pretty scary...I'm gonna do it sometime soon. When I do. I will paint a pretty picture of what it is like so you will either want to do the same or just know that it isn't for you :-D

It's always good to push yourself from time to time to learn more about yourself. Life is to short. Enjoy it. Right?

Prop 8...

I always like generating good, honest, wholesome discourse on subjects from all over the world, because at the end of the day they affect us all. Along with the victory of President Elect Barack Obama also comes the loss of those against Proposition 8 in the state of California. There are a few states that recognize same-sex marriages. What Proposition 8 declares is that the state of California no longer recognizes same-sex "marriages". If my memory is correct they still recognize unions, but not marriages. I am no politician and politics is not my schtick, so reply with your comments as you see fit.

As I've matured into a loving, caring, law-abiding citizen I know respect the GLBT community. They are apart of our world. No matter what law or doctrine any government can write up they will always be around. They'll have sex, socialize, work amongst us, etc etc etc. The important thing is that they are "human beings". I will go as far as defending them against individuals who would wish to use violent and discriminatory methods to rid the world of gays. If I were a politician then I would do all that I could do within my power to. Right now I'm just an advocate for their rights. At the end of the day, whatever happens to them pretty much happens to us all. For example, there was a time when African-Americans couldn't vote. It wasn't only African-Americans to fight the vote! Latin-Americans, Asian-Americans, and even White-Americans fought along side those who felt they were being discriminated against. When women didn't have the right to vote it wasn't women fighting alone! Men fought along side them as well!

What needs to happen is separating your religous beliefs from your political beliefs. There is a difference and both should be separate. The church and state (i.e. government) are two separate entities. A friend of mine made a good point when he said that the difference lies in the definition of a union and a marriage. Where as a union is recognized by the government a marriage is recognized by God. In a perfect world, unions of same sex couples and of men and women should be recognized by law, for it is their right. On the other hand, same-sex marriages can be difficult because some religious doctrines--I think it's more on religious individuals--see same-sex relations as blasphemous, evil, et al. At the end of the day if same sex couples are Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, or of any other faith, they need to take this argument up with their given religious leaders. Period.

I will conclude with another point my friend made, which makes sense when you think about it. I am Christian (which is the umbrella term that also includes Catholics, Jesuits, Protestants, and Seventh Day Adventist just to name a few). No one can argue that our relationship with God is a personal experience, so no one can tell you anything about your relationship with God. Our relationships with God are approached many different ways; either through constant prayer, attending church, a combination of the two or anything else...I digress...I am a Christian, and I know that when Jesus walked upon this Earth, was crucified, and rose on the third day "The Old Testament" was pretty much thrown out the window. If you've ever read the New Testament he speaks of faith, hope and love. Love is the greatest though, and Jesus is not one of marginalizing individuals. He hugged lepers, socialized with prostitutes, and pardoned thieves. The point my friend was making is that a majority of the time people quote the Old Testament, when we're really supposed to be following the New Testament; as Christians. I'm pretty sure you understand the logic in that. That sums up my thoughts pretty quickly. I'm curious to hear the opinions of others...

...student eternally


(Added 11/11/2008 @11:26pm...I saw this not too long ago, and felt compelled to share...i'm not a fan but I respect the angle taken on this issue from Olbermann)

I Voted! How about you?

So I woke up at the crack of dawn, well actually even earlier than that, traveled to my poll site which is around my old black in Washington Heights. I saw my aunt on and skipped some people in turn, but they couldn't be that mad. There was a line, but it wasn't that long. Soon enough My mom steps out of a cab sees the line and responds, "I can't wait. I have to get to work." So I wait on line with my aunt, and people are talking about there is a hawk on the 6th floor fire escape--maybe this was a sign (shrugs shoulders)--of the building which is home to the three voting booths for our poll site. My mother, aunt and I all still use the same address on our Driver's License and a lot of our mail still goes to this same address, so that is the reason why we all were at the site around the same time. We're all early birds as well. I digress, though. People were constantly repeating how there was never a line this early in the morning, but there was. There was even a woman, around her 50's who was voting for the first time! I know young voters were coming by the packs, but it is voters like this woman who are a living testament as to how Bush was elected way back in 2000 and re-elected in 2004. I'm glad she voted, and I'm sure she voted for Obama. This is bigger than Obama, if you haven't noticed already. Not only are Americans looking for a change, but the world as well. Can Americans go against what they are known for? We will see. If you've ever been outside of the US you will know that people frown upon Americans. There's a lot of hatred out there, but it's good that "some" Americans travel and show the world that we really aren't that bad and Bush doesn't represent us as a whole. He is only one person...I wish I could have taken a picture :-( I guess this will serve as my personal documentation. Obama '08!