Notice that I didn't put "LOL" or "LMAO" after my title, because it doesn't warrant those expressions at all for this is entirely a serious, mature post. I hope you take it seriously, because it's not really meant to be funny, rather spark discussion amongst those that may come across my blog or this post specifically.
I might have been a little reluctant to make this post but since I have recently been compelled to follow through. Just to provide a little background, if you aren't aware already, I was born into a Muslim household, and raised as a Christian. Sexual orientation was never a question. I had a mother who I have seen through the ups and downs of her relationships after the death of my father so long ago. Now sexual exploration on the other hand was never ever brought up at all. Even in some of my close circles of homeboys, friends, male acquaintances during high school or even college. It all goes back to how I was raised and those around me as well.
About two months ago somehow the subject came up while I was at work in the lab. My lab is strictly women. There are two male doctors that are apart of my lab but they are way older than I am and aren't really around in the lab, but rather writing papers, focusing on their own research, or attending professional conferences, meetings, etc. So my female coworker, who happens to be the most outspoken out of the whole bunch, presented the question to me. I was honest. I didn't feel compelled to do it on a regular basis. My perspective was that people become so consumed with masturbating that it becomes a bad thing. If you understand my thoughts at the time...we can move on. Okay. Great. She broke it down to me, where I extracted the following key points:
(1) You learn what excites you,
(2) What it takes for you to have an orgasm, and
(3) It controls your sexual urges (i.e. if you're in a relationship you really won't be pressed to venture out to possible temptations) while at the same time providing a healthy release of a natural bodily function otherwise known to the streets as "busting a nut" or whatever terminology you use to describe male/female ejaculation.
(2) What it takes for you to have an orgasm, and
(3) It controls your sexual urges (i.e. if you're in a relationship you really won't be pressed to venture out to possible temptations) while at the same time providing a healthy release of a natural bodily function otherwise known to the streets as "busting a nut" or whatever terminology you use to describe male/female ejaculation.
So I took her advice and embarked on my journey of masturbation. This is not the time to picture me as Steve Carell in the "40 Year Old Virgin" in my room with the lights turned off, candles lit, and my bottle of lotion or personal lubricant. That's just not how it went down...LOL...My goal was to do it at least once a day or at least five times a week. As a result I noticed a few things:
(1) I felt happier! Now I'm already a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, who always remains positive no matter what goes on around me. I was just on another level of happiness. I just felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder. I felt lighter on my feet and more at ease throughout the day.
(2)I began to understand what turned me on; what excited me. Ways of doing this are over the phone, watching a porno, or just creating you're own experience from scratch. I choose porno (shrugs shoulders).
(3) The time in which it took me to climax was taking a lot longer.
(4)I was in control of my sex drive and urges.
(2)I began to understand what turned me on; what excited me. Ways of doing this are over the phone, watching a porno, or just creating you're own experience from scratch. I choose porno (shrugs shoulders).
(3) The time in which it took me to climax was taking a lot longer.
(4)I was in control of my sex drive and urges.
This is definitely a topic that parents should be discussing with their children when they reach a certain age (e.g. the teenage years). A father should have this conversation with his son, and a mother with her daughter. These are conversations that should remain "in house" and not only with their peers. When that happens concepts are misunderstood, and the sexual foundation isn't solid. What does some young individual who's been having sex here and there really know about the act, masturbation, and that responsibility that comes with it.
Any thoughts fellow students in school of life?
4 comments:
mmm. My sexual urges come and go. depends on what is going on in my life.
For women we kind of have more options. Clitoral vs Vaginal Orgasm.
finger flicking, vs. the rabbit.
For me,
i feel more relaxed i tend to go to sleep.
i get there waaaaaaaaay faster then when someone else is involved.
ITA though. needs to be included in the birds and the bees
Interesting. Makes sense though.
Personally, I find it difficult to detach the emotional/spiritual element from sex enough to regularly indulge in masturbation. That connection, or even just the physical presence of a man, is very much necessary to stimulate any sexual desire or urge. Five times a week would be a bit of a chore.
I do agree with the need to incorporate such talk into healthy sex discussions within the household though.
i appreciate the comments. first, i agree that sharing the moment with someone of the opposite sex is so much better. second, i agree that for some it is a labor trying to detach the emotional/spiritual element. finally, i didn't say that specifically, but my original perspective was seeing it as being a chore. i don't make it that, more like exercise...lol...real talk though; masturbation is straight up exercise, but the "art of making love" like brother Leroy Green from the Last Dragon stated, you need to know how to draw, and paint, not merely sketch. masturbation is one thing and sex is another. that's the way i look at. i think i've matured where i separate the two. i would deduce that guys that can't separate the two are selfish partners only worrying about getting their own climax and not worried about their partner.
Wow this is a great post! Ummm I personally feel like I didn't thorougly enjoy sex until I masturbated. Granted I am with dondiva in a way because I can not do it that often. But I feel like it is an enlightening thing to do and is important for people to have fulfilling sex lives.
It's also crazy too because I have very open parents, particularly my father. He always told me several things about sex
1) Don't do it if you are not getting anything out of it
2) Most times it's easier for a guy to get his so you must know what it takes to get yours or it's pointless and you will miss the boat.
3) Masturbation is healthy in moderation. In excess it is dangerous.
Great Post!
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