Abstinence

I was surprised, but overall excited to see Jamie Foxx encouraging women to remain abstinent on a radio interview a few days ago. Not too many people encourage that. They just say use condoms and stay safe. Hearing that some people choose not to use condoms, and still have monogamous partners, proves that most people let desire get the best of them without using that thing that lies between the ears.

This past weekend on a bus ride to a tournament with my High School wrestling team I was asked by a curious teammate, "so when did you lose your virginity?" This was so random, but I chose to give an answer, and replied, "When I was nineteen." Everyone on the bus was surprised, especially the gentleman that asked. When I put the same question to him he replied, "Thirteen!!!??" I couldn't believe it. At thirteen all I was thinking about was getting straight A's, not getting a beating from my uncle or aunt for not completing something they asked me to do, and reading. I was baffled. He explained how it happened. In short, he had a girlfriend of four months and told her one day, "I want to see if it can fit." It fit and he's been having sex ever since...SMH...Then I explained why I waited so long, and it brought me back to the cornerstone of why I had originally wanted to wait until I was married to have sex.

(clouds appear and all that is seen is white)
(the mist settles and clears up and there sitting at his desk is 14 year-old Amir)

It started in one period of my Freshman year in High School. My teacher, Mr. Homer, was a cool guy. Married for a long amount of time with a few children who he loved and adored. So explained to the class the main reason to wait until you are married to have sex. And it went a little something like this..."When the time comes and you get a little older, and you meet that special someone. A special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will have experienced many things in your life thus far. You will have had friendships and relationships, if you decided to take it that far. Through the good and bad you will have accomplished tons of things that will mold you into the man you will come to be. Now, when you present yourself to that special someone and vice versa, what will you be special to your union that you haven't shared with anyone else? The sacred act of "making love", "sexual intercourse", or just plain ol' SEX. What a gift to share with just one person. How sweet to have waited, and waited and given in to only person."

Now in a perfect world that sounds great. It sounded great to me. I went with it wholeheartedly and didn't falter through High School. I always did it for myself and for my own reasons, though. When you're 17 and younger you really don't understand all the intricacies that come a long with sex. When I made the decision when I was 19 I was ready...well not really, but I thought so. But through it all I have learned a lot. That's what's most important. Learning. But this young one's coming up are losing their virginity at these ages it's crazy!

When I have children I will devise a similar speech the way my Religion Teacher did, but in my own way and in my own words. I will always tell them that the decision will be their own though (i.e. when they are old enough to be out of my house, until then they will be having NO SEX...hahahahah!).

[God bless a very close brother to me as well. He's expecting a new born, and I'm very happy for him. He's going to be a great father. I will come to him for advice when the time comes for me.]