Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Many say the company you keep says a lot about you. I would agree, so I've chose to go beyond just my fraternity brothers, family, friends and place more positive male figures in my company by going to church a lot more and working with the men within.

An interesting question was posed and I listened. My post title is the underlying theme of what I heard.

Men...most of the time when faced with problem always think try to formulate a solution, because of it is just within our make up. If a man's significant other tells him she needs to get away and the reasons why, he will have formulated a solution two seconds into the conversation; instead of letting her finish and take a step back and look at this problem from a distance even further than where he is currently observing from to see all angles.

The question posed was, what is it that drives us to make the decisions we make and how often do you step back and think before making a decision?

My opinion is that we all make decisions based on the experiences in our lives and how we were raised. Those young, sponge-like years of observing and absorbing things done by our older siblings, parents, and family members have long since passed us by and molded us all into the individuals we are today. They tell you what is wrong, what is right; what is good, and what is bad. We develop our own personal sense of fashion. Most importantly, though, we learn how to handle certain situations (e.g. if someone smacks your cheek you would either turn the other cheek or choose to reciprocate).

Perfect example in regards to me: I was raised in a single parent household where my mother made sure that I was held responsible for every decision I made. If I was ever confused I would ask her opinion, but she always said, "What works best for you or what do you think?" She made me take a step back and take a look from the outside in.

Not everyone's parents allowed them to do that. There are parents that make every decision for their children even when they're adults. Some parents don't care what decisions their children make at all, and see it as they have left the womb, so they are on their own. And there are those select few that take the responsibility of teaching their children how to think on their own and to be accountable for every decision they make on their own. Sometimes we hit that fork in the road with an opportunity or a setback. If it's an opportunity some people just think, "It's more money, may require more of my time, and overall it's what I want." When they should be thinking, "Maybe this isn't the right time for me. I have a new born and the mother of OUR child needs me to be around more." If it's a setback some may sulk, and wallow in the result of the unknown. What did I do wrong? What am I going to do now? It might just be set back where your true passion is found and finally pursued. The common theme is that you have to take that step back, think, and review the situation from all angles and ask a higher power. Asking God to me is like asking my mother. He'll give me the same response, "What do you think and why?"

I like to think that I'm a pretty good listener, but I know I'm not and I could be a heck of lot better. Going into a situation thinking I need to take a step back and see it from all angles and not jump the gun or jump to conclusions/solutions will make me a better listener and a better man. Hopefully it can help you too.